I am finally back in the States and while I am thankful for safe travels and being back with my family I have to tell you I would have loved to stay in the Dominican Republic--the beautiful weather, the eye candy men and the skin bronzing sun was begging me to stay just a little while longer. I returned to celebrate my birthday with my parents, sisters, daughter & (dog)son. We had a special dinner, cake, I opened my gifts and took pics.
I feel like 30 has ushered me into a new era-one of honesty. In all truthfulness I think I had been teetering on the brink of it for a little while, but I needed an excuse to fully embrace it. I realized that a large portion of my life has been spent doing, saying, acting, emulating, personifying what I 'should be.' Not really taking the time to acknowledge how I really felt about situations or never voicing my true feelings about things I encounter for fear of being labeled weak or shallow or the ever feared 'bitch'. Some people might not like it and some people might love it, but the reality of it is I have this one life to live and I have to make it count. So I can live it for impressions and perceptions or I can live it for me-happiness and contentment. This doesn't mean all my problems will simply fade or suddenly I have life all figured out, but it does mean that I am making a conscious effort to live my days full of enjoyment, embrace each moment as if it's my last and acknowledge what I'm feeling despite who might not agree. I'll probably still have moments where I'll say whats acceptable instead of what I really feel, but the point for me is to be happy and honest and comfortable.
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